You guys, I’ve been here for a whole week. I cried a lot. Not like, hysterical-sobbing-in-my room-alone-listening-to-the-Glee-piano-only-version-of-Teenage-Dream crying. More like the “I just have a lot of feelings” girl from Mean Girls.
I’ve asked Kim Richards of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to help narrate a recap of my first week:
The flight out was easy enough. I’d never taken my beloved Deloris on a plane before. I will admit that I cried hugging my brother and my mother, Queen Donna, goodbye at the airport. I was super stressed out, because I’m a mama’s boy, and because I’ve never lived away from home before.
After a few dramatic moments, that included me yelling at the guy who kept trying to check Deloris as luggage at the curb, I finally I decided it was time to go.
I landed in San Francisco, and my friend Ricky picked me up at the airport. He and his boyfriend own the house I live in, and live upstairs, so I guess he’s one of my landlords. They’d just renovated the downstairs and turned it into a 1 bedroom apartment. It wasn’t finished the last time I went to look at it, so I was kind of just like
Let me tell you, guys, I walked in and I was like
My apartment is phenom. It’s perfect for me, and I really couldn’t have asked for a better situation.
This is wonderful, right? Queen Donna had a bed delivered to the apartment early, and I was smart enough (SO SMART) to order a bunch of nonsense from Amazon so that I’d have things waiting for me when I arrived. It was like Christmas
I opened all of my treats, including 40 rolls of toilet paper, a 6 pack of deodorant, a 4 pack of Jergen’s Natural Glow, a Sonicare tooth brush, a 4 pack of loofah’s, a 17 piece Cuisinart pots and pans set, and other essential items.
Ricky and his boyfriend Nic invited me to dinner with a few of their friends. Since I’m at 0 in the San Francisco friend department, I figured I’d join them and try to meet some people.
We ate in a random alley full of adorable restaurants, but had a Romanian waiter who was NASTY. If I’d lived in San Francisco longer, I definitely would have Yelped about it, since that’s all people seem to do here. My reaction through the duration of the waiter’s rude antics was
Saturday morning, Ricky left for Miami, so Nic and I went to the Restoration Hardware in Berkley. I found the couch of my dreams, but it was too big for my apartment, and the wrong color. I asked the sales guy if I could get it a foot shorter and in the color “Fog”, but was told it would be an extra $1,000 AND I wouldn’t get it until May. He acted like that was totally reasonable. My response was
He took pity on me though, and called the Restoration Hardware outlet. Lo and behold, they had my exact couch at a fraction of the cost! It was a California miracle, but it would require driving an hour away to Vacaville. For anyone who doesn’t know Vacaville, it’s basically this:
The trip was well worth it though. I also got a really nice stand for my tv.
Nic and I got home, and decided to regroup before going out that night. My first night on the town! How exciting! Maybe I’d meet a handsome stranger. Maybe I’d dance to some stereotypical gay bar music. Maybe I’d meet a handsome stranger while dancing to some stereotypical gay bar music! The world was my oyster. I was ready to hit the town.
I’m lucky to have moved in with Nic and Ricky, because they know a lot of really nice guys. Making new friends is hard, but I gave it a go, and the night started out fine. I met a bunch of nice people, and was sure to be as charming as possible.
Then we all started drinking a lot, and I ended the night by eating a burrito in my underwear in my kitchen. That’s the beautiful thing about living in your own apartment! I can do whatever the hell I want in my underwear, and there are no judging eyes in sight.
Then Sunday morning I woke up
I’m not really a big drinker anymore, so the night before hit me pretty hard. I decided I wouldn’t let that stop me. Nic and I went to Target, then went food shopping. I came home Sunday night, and made my lunch for the week
I went to bed, ready to take on the week at work in my new office.
The week itself was filled with a lot of emotional highs and lows. I think that’s pretty common for anyone who just moved to a new place, no? My emotions were really a roller coaster though
It was a lot, you guys.
I am really excited for this weekend though. Paris Is Burning is playing at the Castro Theater tomorrow night, and I’m going to see it with a few people. At least I’m not doing the gayest thing possible, right?
Also, I’m sorry my site is so basic right now. I need to get into this Tumblr thing a little bit more. Look at my first post, two down. I’m like the Cher of Tumblr.
Thank you to T.Kyle at RealityTVGifs.com for giving the world the gift of Kim Richards gifs! Thank you to Kim Richards for helping narrate my story! Thank you to you for reading it! Comment on it below, I guess? Follow my tumblr? Can you even do that? Someone really needs to help me. I’ll write a weekend recap on Sunday.
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